On faith....

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

So God laid this big thing on my heart about two years ago, and I've been sort of sitting still on it until He told me to move... which started about November... yes, I'm being purposefully vague because.... well because I can! Anyway...

... you know, it's tough acting on faith. My "flesh" asks those questions like, "what if it was you and not God that came up with this?" and "why do you think you could do this? why would God think you could do this?" I find myself in that place that I've heard referred to as being a "navel gazing Christian", meaning that I can't lift my head because I'm so "unworthy". In my heart, I would like to believe that I am confident in who I am in Christ, but I do tend to doubt and question, much like I think most Christians probably do. I guess our adversary satan decides that he doesn't like it when we are following God in a truly blind faith kind of way, and he will do anything he can to knock us down.

I've not come across anyone that I've mentioned this "big God thing" to that was opposed to it, in fact, it's been well received and encouraged... until today. Today I spoke to a person whom I feel God has asked me to speak to about being involved in this "big God thing" and I was met with almost an "I can't believe you would ask me to do that and not this" kind of attitude. Frankly, I was absolutely stunned. Maybe it wasn't my place to say anything, but really, if you feel God is asking you to, shouldn't you speak up? I guess my shock comes at the fact that this person is an active member of our church and I thought would be thrilled at the asking. Maybe there was something more... and I've speculated like this allllll evening...what a waste of my time!!

So, again, coming to confess.... it's caused me to doubt again, when after tonight, I see that sometimes these things we are called to do will be met with adversity, and may not be as easy as we would hope... but then again, that's why it's called faith....