A Humble Holiday

   
Today is Thanksgiving! And I am ready to confess something that I've been reluctant to proclaim until today:

 It's my favorite holiday.

Up until now, I thought that as a Christian, my favorite holiday had to be Easter or Christmas, because they are directly related to very significant times in Jesus' life. I love those holidays too, don't get me wrong...

...but I don't love everything that comes with them. In today's culture, unless you are a total recluse (or Amish), you can't avoid the commercialism that surrounds these holidays. As soon as school starts and all of the supplies are confined back in the office supply section of your local what-not store, the barrage of holiday madness comes in- Halloween first, then Christmas, followed by Valentines day, Easter, and Summer/Fourth of July. But for the most part, Thanksgiving is largely overlooked.

Sure, the grocery stores run big ads about their 2 cents per pound turkeys, and we make crazy runs for that last minute can of cranberry sauce, but in all reality, we tend to jump from Halloween to Christmas with just a passing glance at the humble little holiday that really celebrates so much.

When we think of Thanksgiving, what image usually comes to mind first?

or maybe this one?

But do these ever come to the forefront of our mind?



or even this one?

Wait a minute, those are pictures that go with Christmas and Easter!! Why do they belong on Thanksgiving?

Here is a quote from the Wikipedia definition of Thanksgiving:
" Thanksgiving was a holiday to express thankfulness, gratitude, and appreciation to God, family and friends for which all have been blessed of material possessions and relationships. Traditionally, it has been a time to give thanks for a bountiful harvest. This holiday has since moved away from its religious roots."

Did you catch that last part?

I wonder how God feels about our holidays. I mean, he sent His Son to us, and so we "remember" this on Christmas, and Jesus gave His life for us, then was resurrected, which we "celebrate" on Easter. But what does "remembering" or "celebrating" do in giving THANKS to God? Do we tend to get caught up in the dinner parties, gift shopping, cooking, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny excitement of it all and forget that we should instead be thankful for what started it all and who has given us the means to do it all?

Guilty.

Today, I want to celebrate what God gave us at Christmas, and what Christ did for us at Easter, and how I have been blessed in EVERY single area of my life. I don't want to get so wrapped up in Black Friday ads that I forget how awesome God is to me. I want to spend time with my family, and bask in all that God has given me, from my three precious children, my fabulous husband, my generous and thoughtful parents, to my crazy siblings and their families. I want to praise Him for my home, the clothes I have and the food I will most likely overindulge on. And at the end of this day, I want to quietly commit to focus my mind and intent on what is really important in the upcoming season, and keep this spirit of Thanksgiving all year long.

Thoughtful Thursday- A radical thought

I love HGTV. It's probably my most favorite channel, and I am a fan of nearly every show. I love househunting with the folks on House Hunters, watching houses get staged for selling on several other shows, and the design shows are my most favorite. I watch and start thinking about how much I need to do to get my house fixed up, how my kitchen needs a total overhaul, how my carpets are filthy and our allergies would all be much better with hardwoods, laminates or tile. Those heated bathroom floors look so nice, it would be a dream come true to be able to step out of the shower and walk across the floor to get dressed with warm toasty toes. Oh, and Curb Appeal.... how I would adore having a big front porch, beautiful shrubbery wrapping around a curvy walkway, highlighted with colorful flowers. Change the siding and the colors of the shutters... neutral paint colors, not just white in every room inside... the list could go on for eternity.

A while back I started thinking,'If I just save a few dollars here and there, we could start working on making our home nicer.' It wouldn't take too much, just a few bucks here and there, instead of going through the drive thru, I could make a peanut butter sandwich. Instead of a bottle of water or Dr. Pepper, I could take my own drink or find a water fountain.  I could work on a little at a time, painting the rooms, changing the light fixtures, updating some furniture, maybe eventually having enough to do hardwoods in the whole house...

But in the last week, I was struck with a heavy conviction. Maybe God's been speaking the whole time, and I wasn't listening. Maybe it's because I am reading "Radical" by David Platt. A suggestion.... get the book, read it... take off your steel toes and let the words smack you in the face a few times... see if you don't feel totally different.

I never thought I was a "keeping up with the Jones" kind of person. I have never been financially wealthy, and was not raised to think that "things" are important. But when you see these houses on TV that are soooo beautiful, so comfortable, feeding all of my senses, it's hard not to want it all....

Here's what I'm coming to realize....

I have a home. My house is so much more than sufficient to meet the needs of my family. It's rather amazing that we are blessed with the space we have for the money we paid for it. My kids are blessed with their own rooms. We have a bonus room that is now our play room. Our home sits on enough land that we aren't sharing much space with anyone else.

Even more, I have a home that has a roof. My kitchen has a stove/oven that works, a fridge that keeps my food cold, and a nice dishwasher that's a little more than a year old. We have floors, not just dirt. We have light at night, cold air in the summer and heat in the winter. I have a washer and dryer, and even though they don't have all of the bells and whistles available, they clean my clothes just fine.

Do I really need any home improvements? Sure, my central air system needs to be upgraded.If my roof leaks, of course, we'll want to get it fixed. When things wear out, I will definitely want to fix or replace them, And if we upgrade in the process, maybe that's okay, But where does having a kitchen with granite countertops, custom cabinets, tile floors, pendant lighting, and stainless steel appliances fit into God's plan for how my money, or my time, or my life for that matter, should be spent?

I'm not condemning anyone who wants to make their home "better". I am not a judge ordained by God to say that you are wrong or right. But what are you doing to invest in His Kingdom with your time, talent and treasure? Personally, as much as I will struggle with this for probably the rest of my life, I would much rather take the money I've been saving and invest it in something that is eternal. Something like sharing God's love with other people. Feeding the hungry. Clothing the naked. Providing shelter for the homeless. Ministering to the widows and orphans. When I know that there are people in our very own community who don't even know where their next meal will come from, or if they will have a warm place to stay tonight, it's rather shallow for me to cling to the idea that I need a new kitchen.

I guess it all comes down to this:

God has provided for my every need. We are able to live off of my husband's salary, and I am blessed to be able to stay at home with my kids. We have never gone hungry, nor have we had to worry about warmth, clothing, medical care, etc... We have been blessed with more than we can contain. And here's the kicker- Jesus says in Luke 12 that we don't even have to worry about our basic needs being met... as long as we are seeking first the Kingdom of God. When we are saving for the "luxuries" of this world, we tend to take our eyes off of the one who is our ultimate Provider, and start dwelling on our temporary junk. Instead, Jesus tells us to sell our possessions and give to the poor. As Charles Spurgeon put it, "Not only give to the poor till you pinch yourself, but even pinch yourself to do it." Give til it hurts. Give until you can't afford your dream kitchen. Give in a manner that will show others that there is a loving God who has given His very own Son as the one and only Sacrifice worthy enough to be made on our rotten sinful behalf. I would hate to think that I saved all this money to renovate a kitchen that will not follow me to my eternal home, when instead I could have been investing in the eternal souls of the people around me...

What else are we treasuring in our lives that will waste away to nothing in time? What are we really willing to sacrifice for God?

Just some food for thought...

Thoughtful Thursday- A Collision of Fear and Faith

I was working on a post yesterday that was scheduled to go out this morning, but I never finished it. Now I think I know why....


It's Thoughtful Thursday again, and today I'm contemplating so many things... 


See, last Monday I was so elated after leaving the doctor's office, knowing that my Baby Bito was alive, had a healthy heartbeat, and looked to be ready to go the long haul. Then, just 2 days later, I found myself stuck in my van, turned on it's side in a very deep ditch. And while we (Lady M, Miss Priss and myself) all escaped pretty much unscathed, a nagging fear started.


What if the baby wasn't okay?


I decided to try to alleviate my fears on my own by purchasing a fetal doppler monitor so I could just hear Baby Bito's heartbeat. I read the reviews, and out of 60+ reviews of the product, there were only 4 negative comments. I got the monitor on Monday, and listened for that quick swoosh-swoosh that indicated the baby's heartbeat. After about 10 minutes, I finally found it! I jumped up, ran to the phone and called my mom. "I can hear the heartbeat, everything's fine!!" 


Later that same day, I tried again, so Lady M could listen, but had no success. I didn't get too worried, I just figured Baby Bito had moved... but when Tuesday and Wednesday came, and I still heard nothing but my own heartbeat, my fears returned.


Out of caution, and for peace of mind, I trekked up to my OB office this morning and explained that I'd had an accident last week, and had just been worried since about Baby Bito's health. After hearing the heartbeat  and getting my FIFTH ultrasound, I relaxed. Baby Bito is still alive and well.


But now I realize...


Where was my faith?


I understand I'm human, and I'm not dead, therefore, I'm going to have my struggles. But just last week, I remember God reinforcing in me the verse I've been clinging to since the beginning of this pregnancy, Psalms 34:4.

"I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears."


So where was that assurance in the last few days? Why was I not placing my trust in the Only One who can calm my fears? I was placing my faith in a device that would allow me to hear something that I don't necessarily need to hear right now. 


Obviously, my past fertility issues have added to my uncertainties. My doctor has even said that if I need to come in every week just for assurance, she would be okay with that. As wonderful and comforting as that is to hear, why didn't I just trust God?


So even though this week's Thoughtful Thursday post isn't something that is necessarily a current event issue, or cultural issue, it's to me a very important personal issue. I'll leave you with this:


What does it take for you to lose hope in God? Have you ever been in that place where you just didn't know anymore, and didn't feel that peace from Him? What did you do? Have you ever felt you could trust God? 


For me, I've walked many rough roads. We all have, in different ways. But it seems to me that sometimes, in the smallest things, we tend to let the enemy get the best of us. We buy into those fears. 


Why? God has shown himself so faithful in all things in my life, from the big and scary to the small and petty... and so today, my prayer for every reader who happens by here is that first of all, you would place your complete trust in God. If you really don't know or understand anything that I'm talking about, then go check out this site.  But know that there is a better way to live, a way that can set you free from those little fears, even though they may rear their ugly heads sometimes, ultimately, you can have a peace that will never be matched by anything else. 


And if once you found yourself in that place where you felt you could trust God, but something made you walk away, I pray that today, you'll take some time to reflect over your life since then, and see how He is still working in your life... sometimes all it takes is a little reflection on that collision of fear with your faith to know that He didn't leave you.... He's been there all along. 

Thoughtful Thursday- Pants on the Ground?!

Today is hopefully the official start of Thoughtful Thursday. I had a trial run a few weeks ago, and though I didn't get too many comments and no participants (insert sad face here), I'm going to keep it going for a while. If you have any suggestions- maybe something that pickles your brain or makes no sense to you, please feel free to email me at Mama Bee@made-in-secret.com. We can blog it out together on our Thoughtful Thursday! If I have enough interest, I'll make it a blog carnival and you can share your thoughts on the topic of the day. 






My husband is playing basketball on a men's league with a team through his employer. They play games every Saturday night at the local YMCA and we've sort of made a habit of going to McDonalds for dinner prior to the game. Tonight while I was waiting on our food at the counter, a teenage boy came in with what looked like a young teenage girl, a boy that looked about seven, and a little girl, probably three years old.  The eldest boy had quite a mouth on him, with obscenities rolling quickly off his tongue. Thankfully, my kids were already seated with Dad, so they didn't learn any new vocabulary. When I got my food and sat down, I looked back to the counter, and saw that the kid was wearing the waist of his pants literally 2 inches above his knees. I saw entirely too much of his silver/gray striped boxers, and my mind started to wonder....

Did you catch this on the American Idol auditions???



Just curious....

I guess my question is this:

What is your initial impression when you see a guy wearing his pants too low??


I was at the mall with my daughters shortly after that song was on American Idol, and we got behind 2 guys whose pants were so low, they'd walked off more than just the hem. Lady M started singing. "Pants on the ground, pants on the ground...." in a quiet voice, and I quickly shushed her (simply for safety's sake). Thankfully the guys didn't hear what she was singing...

As much as I hate to be judgmental, it's part of our human nature. It is something that we do, then admonish ourselves for and try to change that initial reaction. And when I see a guy with his pants hanging off his hiney,  the first thoughts that run through my mind is "trouble". It shouldn't, I know. But it's an automatic thing.

When I managed a CD/music store years ago, I found that well over half of the guys who came in with pants sagging were leaving with CDs stashed inside that convenient void that happens when you wear your pants that low. And of course, anyone who works in retail knows that thieves come in many packages, but sometimes it's almost as though they've chosen a uniform to say, "Hey, look at me, I intend to do no good here."

Maybe since I don't have a teenage son right now, I can't understand it. Is it really just an expression of who they are?? Am I being too harsh?


All I know is this:


When I hear teenagers talking about how unfair life is, and how much they are targeted when they didn't do anything, I can't help but want to ask, "Then why do you dress like people who are commonly getting in trouble with the law?" To me, it just doesn't make sense.


When I was going through my own rebellious time, I didn't dress like a fashionista (as if I do now, HA!). I was one of the skater punk girls for a while, and I wore the wide legged pants (but never JNCOs because I thought they were hideous). I dressed like a skater punk girl. At one point in time, my hair was no longer than an inch and a half over my entire head, and I spiked it up. I was a punk, no doubt about it. And I was treated as one when I went shopping... security followed me around more, I definitely had a lot more "customer service", and sometimes it did make me mad. But even then,  I knew it was my own choice in attire that made me appear suspicious. When I became a single mom and needed a "real" job, I knew I couldn't dress the same way if I intended on landing a decent job. I made some wardrobe changes and started letting my hair grow out more, and I ended up at a law firm. Would they have hired me if I came in wearing my US Navy dungarees that I took from my brother and a tiny tee that showed a navel ring? NO.

I understand that kids are being kids and trying to find themselves, or discover who they are, but when is enough enough? When does it stop? Sometimes I see men that have to be in at least their late 30s still wearing their pants down on the ground... and they're typically hanging out on street corners and in bad parts of town...

I'd really love to hear from moms of teenage boys about this one, or if you have a neighbor, friend, or nephew that chooses to wear his jeans "low, low, low, low".

What do you think?? 

Thoughtful Thursday- Plastic Surgery

I've been thinking about trying to start a little something for Thursdays, as I don't see a lot of memes or blog hoppin' carnivals on Thursdays. So here's the first of what may be a regular feature here at Made In Secret. I hope you can join it today!!




Yesterday Lady M and I were on our way out for the first time since the snow storm last weekend. We were listening to the radio when a song from Johnny Diaz-  A More Beautiful You . One of the lyrics says something about "her body isn't fake", and it started a conversation between myself and Lady M. Lady M didn't know what the song was talking about when it mentioned a fake body, so I explained that the song was talking about women who'd had plastic surgery.

And that opened a huge can of worms....

Lady M had lots of questions, why would anyone do that? What types of plastic surgery can you have? I explained that sometimes people get plastic surgery because they would like to permanently change something about their appearance. Then Lady M asked if I knew anyone who'd had plastic surgery. Of course, I had to respond "yes". She bugged me to tell her who it was, and I just wasn't comfortable telling her names.

Maybe it was because I didn't want her going to these people and asking them about why they would have surgery like that done. Maybe it was because I didn't want her to change her opinion of the people that we both know who've undergone the knife to have their nose or boobs done.

So here's my question:

How would you address plastic surgery with your kids? If you've had anything done personally, how did you explain it? 


I can't say that I've never considered having some "work" done. Of course, I don't have the money to do it. But if I did, would I??

There was a time when I could easily say, absolutely not. I would not have something done to myself that was not part of how God made me. But since I've had 2 brain surgeries that have left their impact on my face, it's definitely more of a consideration now. I truly don't think there's anything that could be done in the plastic surgery world that could fix the indentation at my left temple or the fact that my left eyelid doesn't have the same muscular/nerve structure as it originally did. I would love to have a more symmetrical face. And that's not all. A boob job would probably be great, since I have nursed 2 children and my boobs grew 4 cup sizes with my first pregnancy, then deflated to empty balloons. Sure, I'd love to look more proportionate. And who wouldn't love a little lipo??

But then I have to look at the message I would be sending my kids. Would it be okay for me to have surgery  and then tell my kids to be happy with how God made them? I would definitely be living a double standard. I think back to when I was a teenager, with no girlie shape, tall and lanky, skin and bones, glasses, braces and pimply skin. I was not happy with how I looked then. How would my life have been different if my parents had the money or gave me permission to have some enhancements?? Would I feel better about myself or would I have always looked at myself with even more critical eye and asked "what else can I have fixed"?  Or what if my mom had looked like a supermodel because of some surgeries she'd had? How would I have felt then?

Who knows? I don't. I really can't say. I guess it all comes down to what's most important to you. I've known several women who had full mastectomies because they'd been diagnosed with breast cancer, then had implants. I've known women who've had mastectomies out of fear of breast cancer because it was so pervasive in their families, then received implants. If I was in either of those situations, I would do exactly what they did. I know people who've had a nose job as a teenager because it was such a hang up for them, their parents gave in and paid for the surgery  because they thought it would make their child feel better. In the end, it didn't help any of the girls I know. They still have lots of issues.

I can't say one way or another whether I'll have plastic surgery ever in my lifetime. I'd like to think I'm confident in who I am in Christ and my body doesn't matter. Really-truly-honestly, who knows what I'll do in the future? I probably won't ever do it (I'm chicken).  As far as talking to my kids about it, I'm supposed to build them up to love who they are, who God created them to be. But I also don't want them to judge women who have had surgery. It's a very thin line....

So now it's your turn. How would you handle talking to your kids about plastic surgery? How do you feel about undergoing the knife for beauty's sake? Blog about it, or leave me a comment. I'd love to know what you think!!