I've been sitting here for probably an hour now, reading blogs, thinking about what to write today...
I got a notice in the mail yesterday from our fine revenue folks for the state of NC. As you may recall, this past spring we were notified that we owed back taxes to the IRS, and the state revenue people. No, we're not wealthy millionaires that didn't want to pay, in fact it was quite the opposite. I had a long term disability policy that paid when I was out of work for surgery stuff, and our accountant told us we didn't have to file taxes on that because it was an insurance policy. Obviously, we know now that we should have, if we'd filed it then, we'd be seven grand closer to debt free. I digress...
So back to the notice I got yesterday. I set everything up at the very beginning, in fact, I was proactive and refiled our 1040s for 07 and 06 with the state before they ever caught the mistake. After I got their acknowledgment that we owe them money, I jumped right on setting up a payment plan. With the state of NC, it has to be set up as an automatic draft out of your account every month. Anyway, the notice I got said they'd received no communication from me, and no payments, so they were going to start with garnishments and liens.
Of course, I freaked out a little bit.
Okay, I freaked a lot.
They got their money last month, and I'm not sure why I got the notice. I spent most of the morning on the phone with the bank and with the state rev people, and found out that the notice was sent in error.
And that brings me back to my point for today...
Why am I so worried? What in the world could they do that God wouldn't see us through on? Why is it when we get some out of the blue money thing that comes up, we start panicking? I'm speaking to me more than anyone here.
God saw me through being a single unemployed mother, with very little income coming from the unemployment office. At one point in time, I remember I had a car payment due, and no gas to get anywhere, and NO money. Actually, I think I had somewhere close to $0.37. I remember being soooo sick, and lying on the couch in my parents house, and just begging God, please, please, help me out. I know I cried and prayed for probably an hour, not knowing what to do, or how I was going to make it. My parents would have been more than willing to help, but I was so ashamed of where I found myself, I couldn't bring myself to ask them for help. After all, they were letting their pregnant unwed daughter live with them, and they were taking such good care of me. So I cried, and prayed, and cried and prayed, begging God to hear me. For whatever reason, I got up and went to the mailbox. I guess I figured it would be a logical place to look for that special money God was gonna provide. Who knows? All I know now is that I sorted through the mail, and came to an envelope with my name on it. It was from my cell phone carrier at the time. I was still under contract and couln't afford to cut off service and pay the early termination fee. I just knew it was gonna be a biil, some kind of overage charge or something. But when I opened it up, there was a check inside for $212. My mouth dropped....
My car payment at the time was $196. I had just enough in that check to pay my car payment, and fill my tank with gas (this was in 2001, gas was cheaper!!). GOD PROVIDED!
And now, here I am, eight years later, and freaking out over something so unimportant. It's funny how easily we can forget those times that God brought us through. Seriously, I could write boat loads on how God has pulled me through the very toughest times, physically, spiritually, financially... and yet, when I got a notice that my home could be seized or my husband's wages shorted or our bank accounts frozen, all of that flew out the window. How quickly I forgot how good God has been to me...
A verse came to mind after I got off the phone with the revenue people. Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Even if I lost everything, even if I had no home, no family, no money, no clothes, no food, I can rest in the knowledge that because I love God, and because I've been called according to His purpose, something good is gonna come out of it. And for that, I am and forever will be willing to suffer whatever it takes. Because being comfortable with where I am in my relationship with Jesus is not enough, and it never will be. I will always want more of Him.
I could have written this myself and matter of fact, I have been pondering an identical post. It may come this week because I don't have anything else lined up. Just know you are not alone....we are not alone. God IS going to see us through.
ReplyDeleteOh, that happens to us all, and God STILL continues to provide, to be faithful, and to bless us. Amazing isn't it? I loved how transparent this post was.
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