Saturday, January 31, 2009

Child like faith

Every morning, it never fails. Whether I'm awake or asleep, about 7:45 am, I hear this sound,

"Mom.... Moooom.... MOOOOOM...................Mom.....Mom.....MAAAAA"

Miss Priss has the habit of calling for me when she wakes up. It's never screamed, it's never worrisome. No tears accompany the sound, just her steady call. I've left her to do that before for more than 20 minutes (sometimes you're in the middle of something you just can't stop). But it never gets louder, never gets more urgent.

She always knows I'm going to come and get her. It's just a matter of her calling.

I'm a couple of weeks into the Beth Moore study, Stepping Up: The Psalms of Ascents. Yesterday was Day 5 of the second week, and it ROCKED my world. It was the second day of looking into Psalm 124. Beth really focuses on how even those of us who are Christians and have deeply studied the Bible still have that place in our hearts, secret though it may be, where we just maybe can't really believe that God is and will always be on our side.


I must admit that I got a real smack in the face when I was studying this. You know, I became a Christian when I was six years old. It was forever ago, and yes it was for real. I knew there was a change in my heart, and it was the most important thing in the world to me, so much so that I got called down in my first grade classroom for telling everyone about it. I knew God was the best thing in the world, and nothing could take that away from me.... only later I found the only thing that could take that away from me was me.

With a past that is less than desirable to think about, much less write about, I realize now that even though I'd turned my back on Him, he was always there for me. He always cared about me. Even in those darkest times, when I hated everything about myself, He was still loving me like no human can even comprehend. HE was on my side, even when I wasn't on my side. Regardless of how I saw myself as a second hand throwaway, He was there, desiring for me to return to Him.

Yes, there have been times when I have been victim to things that NO ONE in this world knows of, and there have been many times when I've questioned how this could happen, without outright blaming God. But the thing is, God knew where I would be today, and how these things that He could have stepped in and prevented have changed me into the work He is making me to be. He knew that despite the fact that it may be painful now, in the end, it becomes beautiful.... what was meant for evil, God can use for good.

And add to that that He sees me as I truly am, draped in the white robe of Christ, covered by His blood. He knows what my flesh holds, the scars, the memories, the past... but He has made me a new creation.

If only we could remember that He's always there, on our side, ready to come get us when we can't make it out of a mess on our own. All we have to do is call...

Oh- to have the simple mind of a child, knowing that his or her parent will be there... no matter how long it takes.... God is always, unfailingly, on my side!

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